Q: What can an SYB babe do to beautify her Amber Rose baldie? She’s really mastered that smooth, uniformed look — what products, treatments would you recommend? — LA
A: Excuse me while I uncross my eyes. Don’t mind me, I get all scrambled whenever the future Ms. Khalifa’s name is mentioned. The lesbionic crush I have on this woman is painful. But I loved her pre-Wiz, back when she was Ye’s mute inamorata, instructed by him to say nothing — just silently radiate iconic alien sex goddess realness. Statuesque-stripper-cum-professional-plus-one as performance art. I thought she was genius, perched in day-glo leggings and psychotic sunglasses next to Anna Wintour at the shows, all pneumatic bod and bold baldie and image, nothing more. And yes, I realize this is a feminist nightmare, fetishizing a woman who’s voice was squelched by her man — but lighten up, it’s just fashion! She’s lost me with this Wiz Khalifa business, though. Is she really going all out for this rickety cricket of a rapper? He’s so…twee.
And yes, her dome is dope, divine, delicious. When rocking your Rosebud baldie, the most important thing to remember is to moisturize the hell out of it and slather on sunscreen every morning, no matter what time of year. This one-two punch keeps your look from getting flaky, dry, or discolored from sun damage. Check out these bald-and-beautiful products:
HeadBlade HeadLube Lotion ($9) moisturizes with shea butter and tea tree oil, absorbs quickly and comes in glossy or matte, depending upon what moment you’re going for. Sexy!
Mission Control Bald Head Balm SPF 15 ($26) protects and soothe sensitive scalps while preventing sun damage. Even skin tone is so key for a fierce Rosebud baldie!
- Matte for Men Complete Head Care Lotion ($30) keeps scalp skin hydrated, but without looking like an oil slick. Ew. Plus, it’s packed with broad spectrum protection.