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Post-Surgery Shenanigans

Ladies! Waddduuuuppp? I’m busting out of my post-surgery Percocet haze for two minutes just to holla my girls. ‘Cause I miss you and stuff. I literally haven’t stepped outside my house since my surgery on Friday, and I’m losing my mind. I also look cray. Beyond. Stitches up either side of my face, seriously swollen neck and shoulders, gauze everywhere and a gash in my right butt cheek, where the generator controlling my vibrating wires lives. I’ve been avoiding mirrors, popping pills, obsessively sleeping, and actively not bathing. Yeah, I’m not supposed to get this shit wet for two weeks. TWO WEEKS OF HALF-ASSED SPONGE BATHS. In August!

Of course, even at my dirtiest I smell like lilacs and lemondrops 🙂

And even though I look like Frankenstein, and I can’t move my head or pick up my baby (I’m a “walking apocalypse,” according to a handsome gentleman who’s counting the days till I’m stitch-free and able to go on a second date)…it’s all worth it. This surgery will erase 60% of the migraines from my life. Which is unfathomable.

Okay quickly, before I slip back into my drug stupor, I just wanted to share some thoughts with you:

*   I need to buy stock in Garnier Nutritioniste The Refreshing Remover Cleansing Towelettes. In four days, I’ve already gone through an entire pack. They’re the only thing that make me feel even halfway clean during this no-real-bath moment. The super-soft, slightly moisturizing, freshly scented wipes are meant for your face, but I use them everywhere. So refreshing!

*   Have I hallucinated this whole Paul Ryan, Todd Akin abortion madness? Seriously, someone illuminate me.

*   I’m in pain from the surgery and having a hard time relaxing at bedtime. So before I get in the bed, I spritz Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy “Sleep” Lavender and Chamomile Body Mist in my sheets, on my pillows and in the air around the bedroom. The essential oil-blended mist smells so divinely serene, so massage-room-at-your-favorite-spa, that I can’t help but chill and let go of the stress and pain. If you’re an Anxious Annie like moi, you must look into this!

Same person.

*   After watching Pretty in Pink last night, I’ve concluded that Duckie Dale and A Different World’s Dwayne Wayne (first season, only) are the same character. Two quippy, new wavey nerds wearing printed vests, ironic shades and kooky footwear, desperately and thirstily in love with quirky, pre-Etsy avant garde fashionistas who love them only as a friend. You see it, right?

That’s all I got, princesses! I’ll holla at you as soon as I can!

xo, Tia

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9 Comments

  1. audrey
    August 21, 2012 5:10 pm 

    You are simply amazing!

    Can’t wait till you’re up and about so we can dish! It won’t be long now!
    See ya soon Hon! 🙂

  2. Jasmine
    August 21, 2012 5:19 pm 

    Get well soon!!!

  3. August 21, 2012 8:49 pm 

    Miss ya! I’m glad the surgery is over and you can get back to being Tia! I must try that mist, it sounds right up my alley. Feel better…and take a shower as soon as possible! LOL! xo

  4. Wendy
    August 22, 2012 4:49 am 

    Hope your recovery is fast and that u are all better soon! I have tried the mist once when I couldn’t sleep well at one point of me having a stint of being anxious and it works great when r trying to relax! All the best in your recovery! 🙂

  5. August 22, 2012 8:34 am 

    We hope you feel better soon! The towelettes are a LIFE SAVER during the summer and when you’re travelling too.

    I miss A Different World…

  6. Adrianne
    August 22, 2012 10:42 am 

    Tia we are blessed to have a blog sister like you. The fact that you “pushed past the pain” just to give us a dose of you shows how much care about your girls! Miss ya chica…Get well!!! -A

  7. FelicityR
    August 22, 2012 11:45 am 

    Aww, its good to hear from ya! Rest up! And yeah, I don’t know how people live without some sort of towelette. They are necessary.

  8. August 23, 2012 11:17 pm 

    Glad you on the road to recovery. Feel better soon!

  9. Nikki
    August 24, 2012 6:02 am 

    Hey Tia glad it went well! We miss ya 😉