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Stiletto Nails, Not Vagina-Friendly

 

Hola muchachitas!  So let’s talk about this Stiletto Nails thing.  In case you haven’t noticed RiRi, Beyonce, K-Perry or Gaga’s dragonlady talons lately, the ST describes the new super-long and seriously pointy nail shape.  Nothing’s trendier amongst nailistas at the moment.  If you’re really about that life, you’ll also add rhinestones, decals and other assorted tackery to the nail, but really, it’s the 80s-on-acid shape that makes the look special.  I’ve been dying to try it, but alas, I have a four year old and it just didn’t seem practical.  So my girlfriend Amber Rosenthal Khalifblower (not her real name, y’all) decided to hit Downtown Brooklyn’s Garden & Nail Salon for a little Stiletto sesh.  Here, I chat with the brave nail junkie about her experience with her cool-ass claws (above).

SYB: So why do you love the Stiletto Nail?

Amber Rose Khalifblower:  I just wanted to try something different. I have a baldie, so I feel like I need new fun ways to explore femininity.  Plus, I’ve been obsessed with the look ever since I saw Adele’s ultra-glam version.

 

 

SYB:  Yours are stunning.  But what was it like to rock such an extreme shape?

ARK:  I didn’t really have any issues until I had to put in my Nuva Ring!

SYB:  Ummm…what the what now?

ARK:  Yeah, I thought I’d almost created another exit down there!  You know, you have to squeeze the little plastic ring and insert it into your vag.  But with extra-long nails it’s hard to get a good grip — and they’re so sharp you’re trying not to scratch your delicate parts!  It’s kinda dangerous.

SYB:  Well, beauty is pain.

ARK:  Word.

SYB:  Would you get them again, babe?

ARK:  Totally!  I cannot wait to run them down someone’s back.  Raowrrrr!

And there you have it, ladies!  The long and short of it, Stiletto Nails-style.  Now tell me, would you ever try it?  Have you?  Dying to know your thoughts…

xoxo, Tia

 

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12 Comments

  1. September 26, 2012 12:42 pm 

    Lmaooo @ not Vagina friendly! HAHA. Who cares if it isn’t it looks fabulous dahlin!!

  2. September 26, 2012 12:54 pm 

    They look fab and fierce, especially on long and slender fingers a’la Rihanna. However, they just aren’t functional and compatible with my drab life of typing all day. Plus, I would hate to think about the hassle of trying to do my big and naturally curly hair in them. Nah…I’m good.

    • FelicityR
      September 26, 2012 1:25 pm 

      I thought about that, too… I’m pretty sure my fingers would get tangled in my hair or something, lol.

  3. audrey
    September 26, 2012 2:04 pm 

    Love em and thinking of getting them!
    Been rockin dragon lady nails for the longest …. sort of my signature, but mine are not pointy!

    • Darkmoon
      July 20, 2013 5:41 am 

      That non-pointy (oval) shape has been classic since the 1940’s, until square nails were introduced by the quick-quick nail salons. I always hated square nails, and stayed with the classic look. The good news is that the oval shape looks elegant at any length. I keep mine short enough to be practical for typing and other things, but they still make my hands look slender and graceful. Besides, nails clicking away on a keyboard add a certain little something…

  4. September 26, 2012 2:26 pm 

    They look pretty, but I’m not sure about their functionality….

  5. k2ra
    September 26, 2012 5:13 pm 

    I love them at the shortest possible length to still have a “tip” and nude or clear. It looks extra classy, yet edgy.

  6. LisaLisa
    November 22, 2012 11:11 pm 

    They look hideous to me. Maybe I’m missing something. I’m sure they look much better from the point of view of the person actually wearing them.

  7. Joha
    October 25, 2013 8:09 am 

    They look great on Adele’s airbrushed fingers, but in real life, they don’t look so hot.

  8. Teresa
    December 12, 2013 4:21 pm 

    ahahahah the exact same thing happened to me trying to put in my nuva ring with stiletto nails!!!

  9. Daee
    April 28, 2014 4:50 pm 

    I have them now & I loveee them they make me feel sensual

  10. Kelsey
    July 11, 2015 12:31 am 

    Actually, this may be TMI but— I was getting intimate with a lady, and my stiletto nails didn’t hurt for her at all. You gotta know the magic of finger banging, tho’ 😉