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Batwing Lashes & Lace Fronts? You Better Be On Stage.

me and felicia

 

Let’s back up from Fashion Week and the Grammy’s and Beyonce in general and talk beauty for a sec. Not makeup. Beauty. At FW festivities over the weekend, I ran into ThisThatBeauty.com’s Miss Felicia, who looked totally stunning in mascara and a bold red lip, nada mas. I was serving up little more than skin and neutral bronze effects that day, too. So we took a selfie, mutually admired our low-key cuteness, and then bemoaned the new trend of international pop star-level lashes, wigs, and contouring…for day. By normal women. For no reason.

 

    Beyonce can do this, because she was about to perform...not run out to the bodega.

Beyonce can do this, because she was about to perform…not run out to the bodega.

 

Listen, I love glamour. I’m not afraid of glamour (and that’s a direct Jerry Hall quote, darling). Twiggy lashes and Dynasty hair. A lip so epic it enters the room before you do. It’s my stock and trade! Drag, honey. Barbarella bodaciousness, Diana Rossian splendor. But I need it to be in its proper place…ie, a stage, a magazine cover, a runway, or a red carpet. New Year’s Eve, the prom. Unless you’re Beyonce Carter, Kelendria Rowland, or currently starring on RuPaul’s Drag Race/Real Housewives of My Ass, you should not have a visible contour line running down your nose at noon. I’d suggest skipping the lace-front, as well. These are exaggerated looks, performance looks…and sorry, it just looks weird when you’re wearing massive, ticky-tacky drugstore faux lashes while working your shift at the DMV.

[The outrageous lashes-for-day thing has to stop —unless they’re extensions (love) or individuals (subtle, chic). That thick-as-fuck faux row is just depressing].

 

Try this, instead.

Try this, instead. So clean, so stunning.

 

God knows I live for beauty…the ritual of application, the endorphins, the female-bonding, the mystery of transformation. The hoodoo, the armor. On some days, the low days, putting on your face may be the sole thing giving you the strength to face the world. But stage hair and makeup is a mask. Stop hiding! And what about men? Put yourself in their shoes. Would you want to fuck a mannequin? How can he even find you underneath all that? Give a man a chance to be awed by your skin. Experience him running his fingers through your hair, burying his face in it. Let him see/feel you bare. Hell, let you see you bare.

I am not suggesting you pull a Kim K., where you suddenly think porn hair is corny ‘cause your queeny fashion boyfriend thinks its un-chic. I’m just saying, dial it down and see what happens. No lashes, maybe — just a major lip. Big hair, but temper it with sheer shadow and gloss.

 

For the past month, I've been blending this onto damp skin with my eff-you finger every single night...and my skin's never been more supple and glowy.

For the past month, I’ve been blending this onto damp skin with my eff-you finger every single night…and my complexion’s never been more supple and glowy. The only reason I let this man see me sans Origins’ or Iman’s BB Cream.

 

#HG is super-into my makeup-less face, and up until recently, this terrified me. I’m the girl that sets her alarm at 5:30am to apply concealer before her man wakes up. My undereye circles are both hereditary and horrendous…but he doesn’t see them. He sees glowing skin he can touch (thank you, Philosophy Oxygen Gel Cream Moisturizer, above), that won’t rub off. He sees a naked, unadorned mouth, meant for kissing…and stuff. Listen, it still freaks me out a bit and if I ever leave the house bare-faced you’ll know I’ve lost my mind (I only play those no-makeup games indoors, be clear). But in seeing my unadorned face through someone else’s eyes…adoring eyes…well, I’ve kind of never felt prettier.

 

“I’d make a mask out of my face because I didn’t realize I was quite beautiful...I had to wear heavy black eyelashes like bat wings and dark lines under my eyes. Cut all my long dark hair off, stripe it silver and blond. I’d freak out in a physical way and it was taken as a trend.” -- Edie Sedgwick, on her Warhol-era makeup

“I’d make a mask out of my face because I didn’t realize I was quite beautiful…I had to wear heavy black eyelashes like bat wings and dark lines under my eyes. Cut all my long dark hair off, stripe it silver and blond. I’d freak out in a physical way and it was taken as a trend.” — Edie Sedgwick, on her Warhol-era makeup

 

Marianne Faithfull, Mick Jagger’s late-60s lover/muse, once described showing up at Mick’s house right after they met. She found him having farewell sex with his ex, a full-on Swinging London dolly bird. Her wiglet was askew, bouffant deflated, lashes peeling off off, penciled-in lower lashes blurry…you know, from boning. And there was Marianne, with her loose hippie hair, freckles and wind-whipped cheeks. Two eras colliding – the Mad Men Sixties and the Bohemian Sixties – and suddenly the ex, who looked plucked-chicken exposed without her artifice, also looked as old fashioned as if she were wearing a corset. There was no competition. Please lawd, let that day come again soon.

 

 

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22 Comments

  1. Mellie B
    February 11, 2013 2:03 pm  Reply

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It feels like the world has gone crazy. Whatever happened to simple understated beauty? This is one of the reasons I have stopped watching youtube make up tutorials. There is no way for my day to day life I will be contouring, highlighting, applying false lashes and wearing multiple layers of foundation, corrector and concealer. I’m so glad that it’s not just me that thinks it’s all getting a bit much for “normal life”. Ah well, I guess at the end of the day, to each his own, but I’ll pass on the daytime masks :/

  2. Karen
    February 11, 2013 3:23 pm  Reply

    Thank you for saying this! I thought maybe *I* had lost my mind after I saw pinterest pins galore on contouring for “everyday use,” and my friends were wearing mink lashes on the beach. (IKR?!).

  3. February 11, 2013 3:59 pm  Reply

    Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I just wrote about brow shaping and girls doing that concealer clean-up thing, and it annoys me! Fine for a photo shoot, but not for everyday. Besides, if you do a full glam everyday, then what makes special occasions special?

    • LT
      March 12, 2013 3:39 pm  Reply

      Well that sounds corny… There’s certainly a way to do brow cleanup and blend it to look more natural. And yes, some days I do it and some days I don’t. But my brows be bangin’ regardless. Some days it’s just nice to finish them off with that, a taupe-y shadow, a little bronzer and gloss.

      I agree that glam city is much too much for the day to day – no mink falsies at the office.

      Everything done in moderation is fine.

  4. 05girl
    February 12, 2013 9:54 am  Reply

    What does #HG stand for? I know it must be reference to her boyfriend but what is the acronym for?

  5. Tia
    February 12, 2013 10:05 am  Reply

    #HandsomeGentleman :)

  6. Ioane
    February 12, 2013 11:47 am  Reply

    B.S. To be quite fair, you are telling women to not be who they want to be because you and some other random chick chooses to do you? So you want all women, regardless of age, race, social status to just look like you and that boring looking chick?

    Understated does not mean, just mascara and skin cream, it means in the manner you carry yourself, dressing appropriately for the occasion and not about weaves and eyelash length. Stop trying to make mini clones out of individuals who should have the right to express themselves as they see fit without you two plain janes monitoring and chastising.

    And no, I don’t wear makeup simply because I don’t think it’s for my features, but I will never deter anyone from going glam as and when they like.

    Stop it!

    • twilliams
      February 12, 2013 2:13 pm  Reply

      Love you and your passion, princess! Couple things. I think cloning of any kind is creepy, and I’d never suggest that. I have no doubt that a huge segment of the population finds me and Felicia to be totally dull-looking losers. I personally find stage makeup and hair to be distracting and not always pretty in person…but more importantly, I’m all for doing whatever makes you feel luscious. If it’s a visible lace front at brunch, then it’s a visible lace front at brunch. There’s room for everything!

  7. February 12, 2013 12:33 pm  Reply

    Everything you said. Yes!

  8. February 12, 2013 5:25 pm  Reply

    So glad you wrote this, lol! I am a chemical engineer/dancer who formulated my own mineral makeup line, so people are often expecting me to do a really dramatic look with my line, Etniq. While it *IS* possible, in my everyday, you aren’t going to see that! Nice subtle beauty that actually looks like *you*, just enhanced, is going to have you feeling the best – way better than a look that leaves *you* unrecognizable when you look in the mirror.

  9. February 14, 2013 4:48 pm  Reply

    I beg to differ, Tia. I know for a fact that a huge segment of the population finds my look perfectly gawgus. I’m beautiful, damnit! (#sarcasm)

  10. February 20, 2013 3:33 am  Reply

    Um, I’m all for women “expressing themselves as they see fit” but when does it stop being about expression and start being about hiding your natural features?

    Great post Tia! You and Felicia look cute :)

  11. February 23, 2013 10:22 pm  Reply

    Agree, agree, agree! I think the growing popularity of You Tube “gurus”, blogs & thousands of pins on Pinterest own a bit of the blame for much of this overdone makeup for everyday casualness. As a blogger who prefers a more natural subtle look, I gasp at the 12-step tutorials complete with false lashes and contouring for the “work day”. To each their own, but when I see dramatic before & afters where the skin is a wreck before & a completely different person is revealed after, I tend to think money that should be spent on skincare is going to the wrong place, but I’m also an esthetician so I’m heavily biased in that aspect. And for the record, I thought Bey did way too much for her inaugural performance. She looks better with less makeup IMO…

  12. GG
    February 24, 2013 12:09 am  Reply

    To each his own as the old saying goes as trite as it may seem. I think if someone feels like their very best – even with a full on BEAT or just a bit of cheek stain so be it – who is anyone to judge. And the Marianne Faithful schmill = http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2257293/Marianne-Faithfull-STILL-pines-Rolling-Stones-Mick-Jagger-sexually-humiliated-40-years-ago.html
    I am sure she wish she put on some blush! Like Joanne I say live and let live.

  13. dana72dane
    February 27, 2013 10:16 am  Reply

    I’m so glad to know it wasn’t just me… I’m puzzled as to why one would wear all that makeup for the everyday. My daughter’s daycare teacher has started wearing false lashes, and I’m thinking she is gonna scare the babies, LOL

  14. March 6, 2013 1:47 pm  Reply

    As a man, I can say with certainty that a woman’s eyes are very important. A woman with large beautiful eyes will get my attention every time. And of course, eye lashes are a part of beautiful eyes. Thanks for the great post, (and the beautiful pictures too).

  15. March 10, 2013 10:57 pm  Reply

    It really makes no sense. If you go over the top with makeup all the time, no one is going to notice when you are really trying to impress someone and make a lasting impression. Not to mention the fact it just says “I am desperate for attention!”

  16. March 20, 2013 3:07 pm  Reply

    Great post – I have the awful under eye circles too! I hate it, I try to keep them moisturized and treated with essential oils. Your Philosophy moisturizer looks really luxurious, and I like that it doesn’t rub off your face. I want to give that a try to help me get beautiful skin. Thanks!

  17. March 31, 2013 2:07 pm  Reply

    There are times when I like to do the glam makeup for special occasions, but on a day to day basis it takes too much time. Being a mother of three, working fulltime, and having a husband and house to take care of, simple is usually my makeup route. But hey, to each her own, right?

  18. April 3, 2013 10:52 am  Reply

    Natural beauty is still the best, wearing makeup will make you look more beautiful but if it’s too much it would just make you like a witch or so. A woman will still be at her best if she’s just being herself and not comparing herself to other women out there. We are all unique in our own ways, and I prefer to have a natural simple makeup than applying too much false eyelashes, etc.

  19. May 12, 2013 10:16 pm  Reply

    I am male, with a nasty suspicious mind.

    When I used do see pictures of Lady Diana my reaction was “Is she really so ugly that she has to wear a clown mask to hide it?”

    Makeup and hair treatment ruin your skin and hair, and modern perfumes smell as if you have accidentally tipped the whole bottle over yourself, so I move away.

    Surely there must be some beautiful women left hiding under all that makeup?

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