So I’ve gotten… thick? Whatever. Chubby. Let’s just call this what it is. I’m officially a pretty, chubby girl. I didn’t even realize how much until this: I was zipping up my high-waisted jeans for the umpteenth time that day, and finally realized that it wasn’t falling on its own. My tummy was pushing it down. Ugh! Later that day, my new favorite club banger came on the radio, T-Pain’s “Up Down,” (sidenote: Love that he’s back. You must get into his “Can’t Believe It” remix with Justin Timberlake!). My ears perked up at the howlingly ratchet — but admittedly evocative — line, “Shorty thick like a Snickers.” I envisioned a luscious beauty with body for days, like a plus size supermodel. Like Tocarra. Sadly, I didn’t picture me. I felt like more of a Whoopee Pie than a Snickers.
Cut to me telling my bestie my plans to hit the gym, eat salmon salads and perfect Beyonce choreo in my living room. That has to count as cardio, right?
But oddly, my bestie told me I was starting to look thinner already. Lighter. My boyfriend echoed this, saying “There’s just something thinner about you.” It took me a sec to figure it out — but it was my new perfume, PRADA Infusion’d Iris. It’s a skinny fragrance! The zingy, baby-powderish, citrusy floral is so feather-light and airy — that it makes you look light and airy. Which somehow motivates me to work out and eat healthier! I swear, I am all about this aroma-trickery. Ladies, I am nobody’s Whoopee Pie. I am #ThickLikeASnickers in my Prada, and proud!