Updo Me Baby

Before: Limp, four-day-old blowout.

Before: Limp, four-day-old blowout.

 

Hey ladies! Yesterday I had the distinct pleasure of visiting Ojon’s Treatment Triage Suite, backstage at Milk Studios (where tons of shows are happening). Basically, it was a cute little suite where the wildly restorative, genius-for-healthifying-hair brand was styling editors’ hair between fashion shows. Let me start by saying that I stan for Ojon’s products. Every last one of their damage-reversing treatments is blended with a golden elixir extracted from an obscure Central American tree (natives have been dousing their hair in it for like 500 years…hence, their long, impossibly glossy, slow-mo shampoo commercial manes). 800 nuts off the Ojon tree produces only 3 cups of this stuff. It’s very, very special and rich and decadent.

 

Elixir of the gods.

Elixir of the gods.

 

So in celebration of Fashion Week, where all I’ve seen are textured, braid-y ‘dos, I asked Ojon Lead Stylist Gwynne to hook me up with one of these ‘dos! Really, I wanted my hair to look exactly the opposite of how it always looks: down, straight, kinda limp. First, to give my hair some sheen and life, she massaged a couple drops of Ojon Instant Restorative Hair Serum from mid-shaft (tee-hee) to ends. THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE PRODUCT. Look at how glossy and healthy it made my hair look! Frizz-free, as far as the eye can see.

 

AFTER: My swirly, braided updo.

AFTER: My swirly, braided updo.

 

Starting at the crown, she brushed small sections straight up, spritzed Ojon Volume Advance on each (smelled like cake…omg I was so hungry while this was happening) curled with the curling iron, and created pin curls. After they all cooled, she undid the pin, finger-brushed and then created a loosey-goosey, haphazardly twisted French braid (pinning the ends up randomly), and left out face-framing tendrils. Cuuute. My Met Ball hairstyle for next year! Yep, securing an invite was one of my New Year’s resolutions.

 

MO' AFTER: Look at the detail up in there!

MO’ AFTER: Look at the detail up in there!

 

I was obvs waayyy into the touch screen photo booth thingie at the suite. Technology is sexy! Listen, I go to a zillion of these FW beauty suites, but this one was such a treat. I never really try new styles with my hair (I’m so much more of a makeup girl), so my pickle was tickled. Thank you Ojon!

xoox, Tia

 

 

 

 

Updo Me Baby Feb13

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Batwing Lashes & Lace Fronts? You Better Be On Stage.

me and felicia

 

Let’s back up from Fashion Week and the Grammy’s and Beyonce in general and talk beauty for a sec. Not makeup. Beauty. At FW festivities over the weekend, I ran into ThisThatBeauty.com’s Miss Felicia, who looked totally stunning in mascara and a bold red lip, nada mas. I was serving up little more than skin and neutral bronze effects that day, too. So we took a selfie, mutually admired our low-key cuteness, and then bemoaned the new trend of international pop star-level lashes, wigs, and contouring…for day. By normal women. For no reason.

 

    Beyonce can do this, because she was about to perform...not run out to the bodega.

Beyonce can do this, because she was about to perform…not run out to the bodega.

 

Listen, I love glamour. I’m not afraid of glamour (and that’s a direct Jerry Hall quote, darling). Twiggy lashes and Dynasty hair. A lip so epic it enters the room before you do. It’s my stock and trade! Drag, honey. Barbarella bodaciousness, Diana Rossian splendor. But I need it to be in its proper place…ie, a stage, a magazine cover, a runway, or a red carpet. New Year’s Eve, the prom. Unless you’re Beyonce Carter, Kelendria Rowland, or currently starring on RuPaul’s Drag Race/Real Housewives of My Ass, you should not have a visible contour line running down your nose at noon. I’d suggest skipping the lace-front, as well. These are exaggerated looks, performance looks…and sorry, it just looks weird when you’re wearing massive, ticky-tacky drugstore faux lashes while working your shift at the DMV.

[The outrageous lashes-for-day thing has to stop —unless they’re extensions (love) or individuals (subtle, chic). That thick-as-fuck faux row is just depressing].

 

Try this, instead.

Try this, instead. So clean, so stunning.

 

God knows I live for beauty…the ritual of application, the endorphins, the female-bonding, the mystery of transformation. The hoodoo, the armor. On some days, the low days, putting on your face may be the sole thing giving you the strength to face the world. But stage hair and makeup is a mask. Stop hiding! And what about men? Put yourself in their shoes. Would you want to fuck a mannequin? How can he even find you underneath all that? Give a man a chance to be awed by your skin. Experience him running his fingers through your hair, burying his face in it. Let him see/feel you bare. Hell, let you see you bare.

I am not suggesting you pull a Kim K., where you suddenly think porn hair is corny ‘cause your queeny fashion boyfriend thinks its un-chic. I’m just saying, dial it down and see what happens. No lashes, maybe — just a major lip. Big hair, but temper it with sheer shadow and gloss.

 

For the past month, I've been blending this onto damp skin with my eff-you finger every single night...and my skin's never been more supple and glowy.

For the past month, I’ve been blending this onto damp skin with my eff-you finger every single night…and my complexion’s never been more supple and glowy. The only reason I let this man see me sans Origins’ or Iman’s BB Cream.

 

#HG is super-into my makeup-less face, and up until recently, this terrified me. I’m the girl that sets her alarm at 5:30am to apply concealer before her man wakes up. My undereye circles are both hereditary and horrendous…but he doesn’t see them. He sees glowing skin he can touch (thank you, Philosophy Oxygen Gel Cream Moisturizer, above), that won’t rub off. He sees a naked, unadorned mouth, meant for kissing…and stuff. Listen, it still freaks me out a bit and if I ever leave the house bare-faced you’ll know I’ve lost my mind (I only play those no-makeup games indoors, be clear). But in seeing my unadorned face through someone else’s eyes…adoring eyes…well, I’ve kind of never felt prettier.

 

“I’d make a mask out of my face because I didn’t realize I was quite beautiful...I had to wear heavy black eyelashes like bat wings and dark lines under my eyes. Cut all my long dark hair off, stripe it silver and blond. I’d freak out in a physical way and it was taken as a trend.” -- Edie Sedgwick, on her Warhol-era makeup

“I’d make a mask out of my face because I didn’t realize I was quite beautiful…I had to wear heavy black eyelashes like bat wings and dark lines under my eyes. Cut all my long dark hair off, stripe it silver and blond. I’d freak out in a physical way and it was taken as a trend.” — Edie Sedgwick, on her Warhol-era makeup

 

Marianne Faithfull, Mick Jagger’s late-60s lover/muse, once described showing up at Mick’s house right after they met. She found him having farewell sex with his ex, a full-on Swinging London dolly bird. Her wiglet was askew, bouffant deflated, lashes peeling off off, penciled-in lower lashes blurry…you know, from boning. And there was Marianne, with her loose hippie hair, freckles and wind-whipped cheeks. Two eras colliding – the Mad Men Sixties and the Bohemian Sixties – and suddenly the ex, who looked plucked-chicken exposed without her artifice, also looked as old fashioned as if she were wearing a corset. There was no competition. Please lawd, let that day come again soon.

 

 

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Balls to the Wall

Hi Ladies! Happy Inauguration Day! I will not bore you with my not-unique feelings regarding the dawn of Obama’s second term…the relief, the historical significance, #MichellesBangs, Sasha and Malia’s unparallelled adolescent chicery. You can read all about it, and far more eloquently, on political blogs. No, I’m here to discuss my point of entry, which would be The Root’s totally glamorous Inauguration Ball at the National Museum of American History! I scored a ticket only because my baby sister Lauren is The Root’sDeputy Editor (bossed up, bossed up), but I still felt like a very glamorous DC insider being there.  The Ball was, truly, a ball.

My glam parents (get into my mom’s snatched waist!). And Dr. Williams, dancing for his life after a few cocktails. Minutes later, he spotted Chris Tucker and called out “Silver Linings, man, Silver Linings!” Tucker was like “Yeah man!” and threw up a black power fist. It was as random as it sounds.

I saw a ton of old media friends, chatted up Skip Gates, and dodged a couple UVA crushes who hadn’t aged well (I hate that sinking, sad feeling you get when you see the musclebound football god you worshiped in 1994 devolve into the chubby black mayor on Nashville). I also strenuously ignored the circle forming around my dancing machine of a father (can’t take him anywhere), and the cater waiter who asked if he could refresh more than just my drink (sir, you have ASAP Rocky cornrows…no).

Michelle and me.

And now for my look. I was super-inspired by Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface (the pristine bob, the clavicle)…but also, oddly enough, Kate Middleton. When I found out I was going to the Ball, I knew instantly that I wanted to rock the lowcut, hot pink Issa gown I’ve seen Duchess Kate rock at least three times. So I hit up RentTheRunway.com, and rented the slinky, swingy, disco-era confection for only a hunnid bucks!

The dress was kinda major, so I kept my makeup minor. Kohl-lined eyes along top and bottom lashlines, Kevin Aucoin Creamy Moist Blush in Liquifuschia and my favorite sexy-pop-of-pink lipstick, Kat Von D’s Painted Love Lipstick in Backstage Barbie (yeah, Ms. Von D is that random tattoo artist with the reality show, but her lipsticks are truly a gift from the Greek Goddess of Beauty, Cosmetiqua).

The bubblegum pink lipstick to end them all.

Lauren, Devon/Brownie, et moi. I got all my sisters with me…

Speaking of lips, just in case you wanted to know what my fierce-ass sisters were wearing, here you go: Laur was wearing Stila Long Wear Lip Color in Paramour, a femme fatale crimson with wine undertones; and Brownie had on Philosophy’s legendary Lip Gloss in Kiss Me Gloss, a sheer berry glaze. Hot!

All in all, it was a lovely event! I got tipsy but didn’t slip in my sky-high heels, I drove a few boys wild, and Obama is still our fearless leader. I will sleep well tonight.

xoxo, Tia

Balls to the Wall Jan21

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The Divorcee

 

Norma Shearer, The Divorcee (1930)

I don’t know if it’s the fetching, wind-whipped flush the cold has brought to my cheeks…or my crush on my clingily epic Inaugural Ball gown…or Downton Abbey…but I’m in such a romantic mood. Like, beauty-wise. I want a lit-from-within, “just received a proper boning” complexion! Impossibly long, battable, inky-black lashes! Hair that leaves a faint trace of fragrance in my wake! I want to be Norma Shearer in “The Divorcee,” languid with illicit love, murmuring things like “one more great romance will kill me, darling” while draped across a chaise lounge in a satiny robes and marcelled waves. I feel that the key to this moment are these three products. Try them. I DARE you not to feel like a romance novel heroine with a song in her heart and fire in her loins…

Talk to me, Talika.

Forget floppy, uber-obvious faux lashes…I add leading lady oomph to my lashes with Talika Lash Extender ($28). This pot of rayon, hair-like fibers adds crazy length to even the eensiest lashes. To use, you simply swipe on a coat of your fave mascara. Then tap the very ends of your lashes with the wand, adding the fibers to the ends of the hairs (this creates the illusion of length). Add a final coat to seal the fibers to your lashes, and you’ve got a wingspan that would rival Liza and Diana in their heyday. So romantique.

Just YES.

A pop of color on one’s cheeks is a must when rocking that “love goddess” thing. It denotes health, radiance, and three hours of game-changing sex. The late Kevyn Aucoin managed to encapsulate all of this into one perfect blush (and get into the name): Kevin Aucoin’s Creamy Moist Glow in Liquifuchsia ($24). I just got this last week, and I’m wondering how I’ve survived without it. Using my ring and eff-you fingers, I blend the color right onto the apples of my cheeks, and I swear I’m 25. Perfect on all brown skintones, too.

Mmm-mmm good.

Yes, Chanel No 5 Hair Mist ($58) is an extravagance. No it’s not necessary in life. But you know what? I work my ass off and I’m a damned good mother and I wash the dishes sometimes, so I deserve to pamper the fuck out of myself. This was my Christmas gift to me…and it was so worth it. Every morning, I flip my head upside down and spritz a little of Marilyn Monroe’s favorite fragrance at the nape of my neck (this is a hot zone…a pulse point, so it radiates the scent throughout my hair for hours), and voila, my hair smells like money and decadence and high class sex in Paris penthouses all day long. Worth every cent.

Love you guys! I’ll be back on Monday with tales from the Inaugural Ball…

The Divorcee Jan18

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Kerry Washington’s Globes Beauty Breakdown

All hail.

 

Kerry Washington is having a fine, fine year, ladies. From Scandal’s HMIC (head mistress in charge) to Django’s achingly plucky slave-in-distress, she’s proved that her talent runs the gamut and that we’d watch her in anything. Even a live reading of my apple TV’s excruciating instruction manual. And at tonight’s Golden Globes, she simply radiated. I got the hair-and-makeup rundown from my Kerry connects, so quickly, I wanted to fill you in:

MAKEUP

Here’s how superstar makeup maven Carola Gonzalez hooked our girl up: the caramel-kissed nude lip was courtesy of Giorgio Armani Lip Maestro in 500 Blush. The bold purple eye and candy-pink flush? All Lancome, all day: Teint Idole 24 Hr. Foundation in Suede, Color Design Infinite 24 Hr. Shadow in Evermore Lilac and Mochaccino, Artliner in Smoke, and Blush in Pommettes d’Amour.

HAIR

Celeb stylist Marcus Francis whipped up the perfect blowout-and-blunt-bangs moment using John Frieda products (I love fancy by way of drugstore products). Here’s how:

He sprayed Frizz-Ease 3-Day Straight Semi-Permanent Styling Spray ($9.99), throughout wet hair and combed through to distribute the product evenly.

Next, he blowdried Kerry’s hair straight. Using a flat iron, he straightened hair section by section–the heat activated 3-Day Straight, which ensures that her style stays sleek all night.

Lastly, he applied Frizz-Ease Secret Weapon Flawless Finishing Crème ($5.99) throughout hair to give a smooth, shiny finish.

 

 

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